In The Crushing
It has been hard to come to write this letter as retelling the story sometimes refreshes the pain of the whole experience.
The road to starting our first DTS had not been easy, but we moved with great passion and expectation, knowing DTS is what God was calling us to pursue! Our convictions were continually confirmed by many moments of provision and miracles as we prepared, including being lent a house where all the students and single staff could live together! We began YWAM Niagara’s first DTS on March 4th with 4 students eager to grow in their faith alongside our team. (Due to COVID travel restrictions, we were only able to receive 4 of our 8 applicants.)
Discipleship Training School (DTS) is YWAM’s 6-month intensive missions course that empowers young Christians to know God deeper and make Him known from Niagara to the nations. Over the last 40+ years DTS has blessed more than 4 million students, but it is not a be-all discipleship course. YWAM is run by young Christians, for young Christians. We’re not commonly counsellors or psychologists which means we’re often ill-equipped to disciple students who come with a great need for such professionals. Unknown to us before their arrival, 3 of our 4 students came with these sorts of great and difficult needs. The process of discovering and responding appropriately to these issues as people and as leaders amounted to the hardest 6 weeks of our lives to date.
Enduring Hardship
In the first week of the course, we enjoyed a wonderful orientation weekend filled with campfires, games, worship, and sharing testimonies; establishing a loving and trusting family bond.
However, very quickly we had to remove a student due to immense mental health issues and disorders which ended in him harassing one of our female missionary-staff. In the following 5 weeks, we discovered 2 of the 3 remaining students were getting into substance abuse and expressing aggression toward the rest of the team causing a toxic and unsafe environment for everyone. Our team was neither equipped nor called to serve these student’s serious needs so we did our best to connect them with addiction counsellors and other professional programs that could offer them a place of thriving that the DTS program is not built for. This was a heartbreaking experience for us and our team as we had seen our students grow so much only to discover their deep struggles were far outside the care we could offer them. That left our last student in the middle of the lecture term unable to continue the course by herself. And after the traumatic experiences with the 3 removed students, our entire team was tired, beat up, and drained.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
–Romans 5:3-5
Closing a DTS
With heavy hearts, we decided to close this DTS and offer our last student the opportunity to continue at a different location. Despite all the challenges that have been thrown her way, she has been so incredibly strong and continually relied on Jesus throughout the ordeal. She is currently nearing the end of lecture term with YWAM Orlando and preparing for an outreach in Tanzania!
A Need For Rest
Ending this school came with a lot of unexpected grief, waves of emotions, emptiness and incomprehensible hurt. These experiences were terribly difficult to go through for us as leaders, for our team as new inexperienced DTS staff, and for our last student who was just wanting to grow peacefully in her faith. We made tough decisions that we never wanted to have to make, and experienced all the grief and pain of it all.
For the past month, our team has been in a season of reflection and recovery. We have been blessed with trusted mentors and wise counsellors who have guided us into healing with wisdom and grace. Ultimately, it is God’s presence that brings authentic rest and restoration. He never promised that we won’t experience trials, but he did promise to never leave us. And that is always enough.
Your Prayers Change Lives
There have been many moments where only God’s strength has kept us upright and we know you praying for us has been a key part of that, so thank you. Please be praying for our continued recovery as we begin to seek God again for fresh vision and direction on how we can move forward with YWAM Niagara, learning from the past and getting filled with joy once more for what He has in store for the future. We would also be honoured if you would prayerfully consider partnering with us financially on a monthly or annual basis. If you have any questions about what this could look like, please give us a call or shoot us an email or text.
He is ALWAYS Good
We rejoice with gratitude for what God has done. His definition of success is very different than ours. Yes, this DTS failed our expectations dramatically and hurt us badly in the process. But if God has a plan, and we are of the conviction we followed as closely as we could, then He had a plan and purpose for every moment we got to spend with the students, no matter that the time was cut short from what we had hoped.
To be clear, we are not closing YWAM Niagara. We only closed this past DTS. Our next DTS begins in September! Which we earnestly pray will fulfill our hopes and expectations. Despite the disappointment, we have come to believe that it had not been a waste of 6 weeks. God’s plan keeps going and we’re so excited to be a part of it, even when it doesn’t look the way we imagined. In the crushing and in the pressing, He is making new wine! We saw our staff and students take huge steps of faith and encounter God like never before. Despite the setbacks, we know seeds were planted and lives were changed and we entrust God to care for them on their journeys ahead. So thank you for being a part of our journey. We love you and thank God for you always.
